I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
