if i can run in heels then i can drive
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize