Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize