We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
