he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
