I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I currently don't understand fingers.
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