There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He has the fingertips of a God
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