I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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