beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize