if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
