if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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