Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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