I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
whose ass print is on the piano?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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