I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
