something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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