I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
