I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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