You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
