he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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