the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
