Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
