Moan for me like Helen Keller
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
