I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
