Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
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He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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