If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I need water and some morals
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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