Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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