She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
