I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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