Just cropdusted the office
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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