new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
