She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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