I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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