You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
