I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize