You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
