I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
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