I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
