I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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