i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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