I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
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You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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