I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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