Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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