dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
