So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
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Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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