I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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