How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
