I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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