Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I had to cum in my sink.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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