this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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