i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
false alarm. still invincible.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
