i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
