i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
