I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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