I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
