we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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